So many articles and posts and conversations about the global pandemic. Frankly, I asked my PR Director, René, if we could find something else to write about. Maybe merely as an escape hatch for myself. But, true to her expert form, René insisted, and she was right. We do need to keep talking about weddings and marriage during the time of Covid.
Why? Well, let’s back up just a little bit and talk about the nature of marriage and weddings. Many moons and several career steps back, I was in politics and public policy. When I began to transition to work better suited for my skill set, I was often asked, “Why weddings?” The answer seemed to me as obvious then as it does now. Weddings – and even more, marriages – are very public affairs.
We often think of weddings and marriage simply in terms of the couple. And there is a great deal of truth in that fact. Yes, Sarah and Joe are married. We dated, fell in love, said yes and “I do” to each other. But, we have never done it alone. From the very beginning it was all in the context of our family and friends. I mean that both physically – we dated and married among our friends and families – as well as psychologically, spiritually, mentally, socially – we vetted each other among family and friends, made deliberate choices about who we were, what we were about, what we liked or didn’t in other relationships, gathered support in down times from friends and professionals, added kids to our mix, and we consistently interact with a tight-knit couple group. It has never been just the two of us. That is a myth perhaps more obvious in our current situation than ever before – either for its acute absence or sharp relief. Weddings and marriages are social and public affairs. Our entire lives and beings are social and public affairs.
In a time of physical distancing (thank you to my cousin who proposed this language in lieu of the less truthful “social distancing”), it’s hard to live into our social and public selves. I’ve seen this a lot in my own wedding industry. Although I rarely comment, I have spent part of every day reading through emails and FaceBook dialogues among my colleagues. It is not to be nosey or competitive, but rather to gauge and calibrate myself and my business. And I believe it is the same for all of my colleagues. Think about how many times you do the same thing: “Are you feeling this way, too?,” “How did that feel when they said that?,” “How did you handle this situation?,” and even “This is hard. Is it hard for you?” I want to feel connected. I want the data, the input, the support. I want to feel either that it’s ok to feel what I feel or receive course-correction by trusted friends, mentors, and colleagues. My industry is not unique. I see it in all professional communities, school communities, sporting communities, social networks, and yes, of course – my couples.
A lot more than once, our couples are asking what other couples are doing, and how they are feeling, handling, and managing their relationships. To that end, we are spending August talking about our Covid weddings and marriages. We want to show you that hey, yes! It’s ok if you do it this way. Or that way. It’s ok that you feel stressed. Or not. It’s fine to try this. Or that. We want to give you a place and permission to calibrate your weddings and marriages.
You’ll also find us working on digital content because we want to connect you in the most real way possible to your public and social weddings as well as your married life. It does matter what other couples are doing and saying and feeling – even if it happens virtually!
So come along with us and be a part of rebuilding our world one wedding, one marriage, one relationship at a time. It’s what we do. It’s what we’ve always done. It’s what we will always do.
Sarah has been crafting custom weddings for couples of all kinds since 1999. Sarah is a Ravenclaw, and loves mythology, historical fiction, hot tea, and cycling of all sorts. She is an ordained minister who believes in coloring outside the lines. Sarah has been married to her best friend, Joe, since 1994. Together, their greatest treasures are their two children and the marriage they’ve worked hard to cultivate.