February 12, 2021

OK, so there are two camps on V-Day . . . the one willing, and even happy to overspend on restaurants, make excuses for all of the extra chocolate (since it’s covering fruit), and pay for proposals in skywriting. Then there is Camp Cynic. The camp of those who side-eye the “holiday” and wonder what corporate schmuck came up with another ingenious idea to take our money. 

But could there be a third way? I think so. And I propose a third camp . . . one where we land somewhere in the middle. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive holiday made to prove one’s love for another or an entirely shunned, bah humbug event. What if, instead, it is a jumping-off point? A time to ask your partner what their love language might be, posing an opportunity to do something appropriately related to that rather than just buying a bouquet of roses and calling it a day. Anyone at any point in any sort of relationship could stand to know about their love language. Another idea is making the 14th of every month a day where you take time from the hustle and bustle of kids, work, pandemic, and politics to connect. And I mean really connect with one another – so put those devices away. Connection is open-minded, fulfilling, and has the potential for long-term benefits! Now, you can sit and give uninterrupted eye contact if that’s your thing, but connecting and strengthening your bond can also be about playing board games, or listening to a true-crime podcast, or building a habitat for humanity house. Whatever floats your love boat. Just being together and appreciating each other is a connection and can be the gift that keeps on giving. 

What if Valentine’s Day is the anniversary of the day you started listening to one another or providing a safe emotional space for your relationship by working together to protect and honor that which you both love so deeply? Now, that’s romantic!

So, instead of or in addition to spending extra dough and eating expensive food (or wearing all black and swearing off the patriarchy), take a dive into the bigger meaning of the “hallmark” holiday of love and discover what love looks like and means to you and your person.

Tell us about how you might reimagine your Valentines Day? What is significant about it from the way you once celebrated and how might you make it even more special?