October 14, 2022

Best Friends

“We will be friends until forever, just you wait and see.” – Winnie the Pooh I did not marry my best friend. Did you? For many of my couples, yes. They happily say they are marrying their best friend. I love that. I think it is likely more common to…

September 1, 2022

Everything is Hard

Everything is hard. That is my mantra these days. I acknowledge that, perhaps, it is not the best mantra. But I am not known among family and friends for being the perpetual ray of sunshine. Instead, I am known for my commitment to speaking the…

January 21, 2022

White Cup, Silver Cup

I have spent the past few weeks laser-focused on rituals – what they are, why we have them, the whole nine yards. Why? Well, I am teaching a workshop on “non-churchy” rituals for colleagues at Phillips Seminary in Tulsa next week, and I sure want…

October 7, 2021

A Tale of Two Ways

When I was in high school, we had to read “A Tale of Two Cities.” Upon completing the book, I was angry. I mean really, really mad. I’d just spent a week reading an entire book only to have **spoiler alert** the hero die at the end. In fact, I was so upset,…

September 23, 2021

What’s in a Name?

What’s in a name? A lot, actually. Names matter. Owning them, saying them, claiming them, changing them, even discarding them – names matter. In fact, they matter so much that there’s a ritualistic quality about naming things, isn’t…

September 10, 2021

Marriage is Choice

I hit publish with some apprehension a few weeks ago. I’d been sitting on “When It’s Over” for months, considering the risk of posting about divorce when my life’s work is marriage. But, to be honest, to talk candidly about marriage, we must talk…

September 2, 2021

Empty Nest

This week I become an empty nester. For most of my couples, this part of life is so far away it barely exists. I know I couldn’t have begun to fathom an empty nest when I was a young married person in my twenties. And when my mother-in-law would speak…