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“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an […]
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On Marriage BY KAHLIL GIBRAN Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master? And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. […]
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Take Love for Granted by Jack Ridl Assume it’s in the kitchen, under the couch, high in the pine tree out back, behind the paint cans in the garage. Don’t try proving your love is bigger than the Grand Canyon, the Milky Way, the urban sprawl of L.A. Take it for granted. Take it out […]
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We’ve spent the past two weeks considering what marriage is in an effort to answer the question “why do we marry.” We’ve done so by defining covenant and contract and then asking – which one is marriage? There are certainly pieces of marriage that are contractual. Marriage is a negotiation between two parties requiring consent […]
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Contract: an agreement between people (or entities) that creates mutual obligations enforceable by law. The basic elements required for the agreement to be a legally enforceable contract are mutual assent, expressed by a valid offer and acceptance; adequate consideration; capacity; and legality. Covenant: conventionally understood, covenant is a binding agreement between two people or two […]
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One of the most challenging aspects of this blog series has been the question of covenant versus contract. Marriage is one of them, but which one? I thought this would be a quick and dirty blog: define and then defend. All with the goal of quickly circling back to our original question: Why do people […]
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As a systems-oriented marriage and family therapist, my short answer would be: because the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Creating something greater than ourselves is an intrinsically human goal. From the first cave dweller who painted their story on the wall to the astronauts who put a flag on the moon, […]
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“Why Marriage?” This was a particularly deep question, after my first marriage ended in divorce after 14 years. The new love of my life was, well, still new to me, so a very reasonable question to ask myself was, is this just a rebound? Will this marriage also end long before death do us part? […]
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Last week I publicly posed a question that I often privately ask my clients in the context of writing their marriage ceremonies. Why are you marrying? And much like the answers we’ve received from clients over the years, the responses to our blog post varied. However, we did have a particular cluster of responses around […]
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“Why are you getting married? Be specific.” If I’ve married you, I’ve likely asked you this question. I might have even pushed a little bit, following up with: “We live in a time when marriage is neither required nor necessary in our society. So, why are you choosing it?” For years I have personally pondered […]
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